I understand that dating can be a challenging experience, especially for Christian women. You should know that you are not alone in this journey. As someone who has worked with many women in similar situations, I can empathize with how overwhelming and frustrating dating can be. Please know that I am here to help and support you. Here are some tips to avoid common mistakes when dating.
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1. Overlooking the Importance of Community:
It is important to have activities outside of dating to occupy your time while pursuing a relationship. This can help you avoid the temptation to be clingy. Involving your church community and seeking counsel from trusted mentors can provide support and guidance. These relationships offer accountability and can help you see your relationship from different perspectives.
2. Rushing the Relationship:
Friendships are essential to establish as a foundation for any relationship. Moving too quickly can cloud judgment and prevent you from fully understanding each other’s values and beliefs. Take time to build a strong foundation based on friendship and mutual respect. Rushing can cause a lot of anxiety because important expectations and boundaries have not been established and worked out. For example, how often you are together might change due to professional and personal responsibilities. If you have not developed a strong friendship, it is difficult to be patient with each other through this process.
3. Fear of putting yourself out there:
To have a successful dating life, it’s crucial that you position yourself in a way that makes it easy for others to find you. After all, the more visible you are, the greater the chances of meeting someone who shares your interests and values. With our busy lives, we may not always come across potential dating partners in our everyday routines. Therefore, it is important to consider alternative options such as dating apps, attending Christian community events, or reaching out to friends and family for potential introductions. If you truly desire to date and are not actively seeking opportunities to do so, you may find yourself cycling through past relationships.
4. Continue to hold space for ex-boyfriends:
It is challenging to make room for new love when you are still holding space for past love. You risk not fully opening up and constantly comparing your current relationships to your past. It is difficult to get over past relationships, but it is worth the effort to give yourself the opportunity to find new and lasting love.
5. Neglecting Your Personal Relationship with God:
Your relationship with God should remain a priority. Neglecting your faith to focus solely on your relationship can lead to an imbalance that affects both your personal and spiritual growth. The Holy Spirit is a vital part of determining who will be a good match for your future.
When looking for love, the experience can feel similar to searching for a job. It’s common to feel discouraged by the lack of response or the unsuitability of most offers. Yet, it’s important to keep in mind that there is someone out there who’s a perfect match for you, who’s waiting to be found. Therefore, maintain a positive outlook, take as much time as you need, and have faith in the journey.
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